Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
