you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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