Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
