the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
