i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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