some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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