do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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