I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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