i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
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