Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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