you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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