I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
