Little spoons don't ask big questions
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
My dick has a subreddit
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
