i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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