wakey wakey hands off snakey
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize