just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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