I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
