somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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