I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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