I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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