We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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