No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
