new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
