he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize