it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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