You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
