I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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