I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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