sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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