Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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