I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize