Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize