this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize