Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Randomize
