Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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