just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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