I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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