just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
