these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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