i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
