none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
