I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
