So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
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