actually, I'm a sock model
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
