No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Randomize
