it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
third nipple confirmed
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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