There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
