Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
