Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
