do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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