Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
