Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
