Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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