THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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