Can Purell be used as lube?
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
