well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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