He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
