I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
