it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
