So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
This is my life. Enjoy the view
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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