well you can't waste a boner
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
