How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
