My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
